Delayed Chinese New Year Post

I've been putting this post on hold for quite a while already and I thought I better get to it while it's still Chinese New Year, speaking of which, I wont have my "Chap Goh Mei" dinner with family this year. Awwhhh....

My blog is turning stale and getting mundane by the day. You must be bored.My apologies. I'm chained by piles of work of which I'm doing in an extremely unbearable slow pace.

Anyhoo, I'll just get to the point. So, my Chinese New Year was a very simple one though I claimed to be a fan of festivities, I don't actually do much. Festivities are nice especially when they draw closer and you start feeling their jitters. hehe... My family doesn't visit much but at least this year,we had an open house so, got to see more people as compared to last year.

As usual, New Year's Eve dinner at grandma's. Simple but palatable. Gratified.

We love granny's new mirror.

Been featuring a lot of Tyler but I can't help it. Love him to bits.

When the clock stoke 12am, need I say more? Understood right? Bang bang bang.... Fireworks and firecrackers killed silence besides huffing and puffing horrifyingly pungent smoke. The entire place basically reeks of smoke and that particular time in Kuching, there was no wind thus, stagnant smoke everywhere inside and outside the house. *chokessss*

Injuries to the lungs.

First Day.... According to Chinese astrology, my lucky color on the first day is red, hence, the red kimono dress... I don't exactly believe in all those but just followed for the fun of it and there's no harm in doing so. (actually, I really need lots of luck this year especially when concerns studies..hehe)

Visiting grandma. Always the first house.
Dad and Mom... I just realized... matching color!! The old flame's adorable.
Tyler in samfu. Cute!

Ann looking so grown up. *teary* haha... I forced her into buying high heels. She's 16.Got to instill the idea now before it's too late which reminds me of the peribahasa I use in nearly every BM essay "melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya". haha... One day,she's going to have dying propensity to shop for heels heels & heels. muahaha... Then, we can share so we have more choices. (the whole purpose) =p Sorry Ian, no pic of you on first day.
Sis friends came and they played some game with the punishment of drinking unique concoctions of whatever edible food that comes to mind.
That's Desmond eagerly wanting to drink up what his talented bartender friends made for him.

2nd day... visited mum's friends and Blackie.

Mum and her bestfriend. (They talk on the phone every night..sweet isn't it?)
Ann and Mavis, Aunty Mui Hong's daughter who happens to be Ann's schoolmate.
Ian & Ann
Did I mention we love mirrors?
Met up with Isabel, Aixora, Kelvin and Blackie's house.
Miss miss miss you, Bel!!

3rd day - Open House

Mum and her friends together with grandma and Iva.
Ann and her swarm of guy friends. There were more. They were scattered so couldn't capture everybody.

Stephanie, Chrislynn, Magdalene, and me. It's been so long since I last met them. Glad to see them again. =D
Jing Tuang!! My long lost friend. He was the pionier of my evil label and he is still living up to the stigma I gave him. Evil meanie but he's actually a really nice friend.
He is a considerably good pianist. Guys that can play piano - enticing! haha....

My Lulu "ee ee" is back from Aussie. She's like my Godaunty or something like that. The caucasian is Matthew, her betrothed. I look like a blood-sucking-junkie in that picture. I now agree that flash is a spoiler.
Roger, Alvin and my bro, Ian.
Ian and his girl pals. Sorry Iannie, I didn't take pictures of your other friends that came. tee hee..
My bestfriends. Isabel, Athila, Aixora, and Joanne.
The dark guy there is Blackie. Maybe I should change his nick to Brownie. It's more precise. haha...
No need for introduction to who that lovely girl in white is right? But anyhoo, she's my BFFL! She's going to be my bridesmaid in the future! hahaa....
Bro, Bel, Xora

5th day - Watched Redcliff 2.... Ahhh....I can't ever get enough of China's history. Adore it to the core... I'm always musing to be in one of those ancient people's shoes.. temporarily. I want to know how it feels like to be the demure and subservient ladies especially to the revered warriors. So cool... I really don't mind taking a leap back into those ancient Greek times too where people wear togas. Love love love!!

6th day - Visiting my infamous 2nd cousin, Jessie Chung.. She's actually really nice and gentle with nice slender legs.

That's her in white.

That's all. Sweet and simple. Really tired so sorry for the typo if there's any. Adios amigos

Sincere Truth

Update 5.19pm (18 Jan) : All confusions are cleared. It's a meager misunderstanding....I don't know how to say this right but deep down, I'm actually really really glad that we're friends once more... All you guys who had heard or read stuff, it's really nothing anymore.

Update 12.50am(15 Jan) : I am seriously baffled. I do not know what's true and what's not now once again.I'm sorry. I'm confuse. I'm so grateful Blackie and my bro are here for me when I am in great need of them. XOXO!! I don't want extra clarification anymore. I rather ignore it as that made me not mind anything anymore and start new. I just don't want to recall those depressing moment which I've decided to let go last year but it hurts having to recapture it again and to found out new stuffs. What the hell!! I just don't want to ever talk about it as I do not want to be torn in between again. She was my friend and others are my friends as well. Why I trust this and not that is really disturbing. Everybody were new. How was I to know. I was so hurt as I've heard so much for so long even if it wasn't true. Sigh... This post rends me into pieces.

Update 12.45pm (14th Jan) : I am so emotionally tired and muddled. It's all coming back to me again, I don't know why. The whole 2 hours in Public Speaking class, I couldn't restrain myself from thinking about the whole thing. Sigh...maybe it's the lack of sleep. toodles!

I know it's lengthy and verbose but just read on.

We, humans are fallible. We are subject to trial and error to learn stuff but sometimes we have our own perception to stuff or other times, we subconsciously or consciously just want to pick up negative stuffs and ignore all positives just to spice things up. That's human nature and it's pretty difficult to defy our nature,is it not?

I am actually a very gullible person which makes me very insecure and self conscious if you haven't already noticed. Therefore, what I hear people say about me matters a lot. In my case, words are the most powerful and easiest tool to break me. Honestly. I'm slowly learning the ways to ignore rumors, my utmost fear. That's why I always prefer to stay really hidden and low profile. I may come off as antisocial and arrogant but it really isn't intentional.....I've heard that a lot and I was numbed by that long ago. I just suck at socializing.

Anyway, I'm slowly patching up with my flaw of believing every single thing I hear especially those that concerns me. Last semester was a delirium not only to myself but to the person involved. I've had time to reflect during the holidays and realize how idiotic I was to see so heavily of the small matter. It was merely a minuscule misunderstanding which I avoided to solve entirely, instead, I kind of ran away from it and let it haunt us for the entire semester of which I truly regret.

The first friendship I made here went awry. We were really close friends and you've seriously no idea how caring she was to me and I really appreciate every single bit of it. I constantly tell my parents and Blackie how nice she is but apparently, something went wrong.

I started hearing that she had said some bad things about me to others for more than a month. I was so saddened by all that and I was focusing too much on all those negative stuffs and that severely got the better of me. I was stuck in a rut at that point, my self consciousness got a firm grip of me. I shut down what I knew about her attitude and was lured into believing all those I heard. I know how rumors always get exaggerated and twisted, yet, I blindly believed them. I sincerely took time to think back, and I realize how foolish I was last semester. I've made life hard for myself. Honestly, I haven't known her for a very long time yet and my other good friends told me what they heard. I was torn in between but because I heard it from a few friends not only one so, I ended up believing the rumors but I didn't listen to her part of the story. It was a puzzling situation and I guessed I didn't quite maneuvered the correct way.

Honestly, I was a tad selfish as I was so engrossed in only my own feelings. I kept thinking about how sad and hurt I was but I neglected how she felt about the matter. She was definitely feeling the same as we were both best of friends here in the beginning. We trusted each other so much and I really enjoyed her company.She gave me a sense of home. After those rumors stroke, all I did was constantly think about myself and no one else. This is where Prof. Borges's theory of ME ME ME applies. I kept thinking about all that I heard over and over again;cried over and over too everytime Blackie asks me how I'm doing. I realize how foolish of an act it was and I really apologize on the parts where I'm at fault. In one of my posts last year,I depicted as though she was the only one at fault but the truth is we're both at fault.

In every problem, both parties have a fair share of wrongdoings. Think about it and you'll find that very true but the thing is we tend to push the blame to the other party and ended up hurting each other more and more. In the very end, we're the one who are at loss. Everyone of you are just the audience who are in it for the entertainment and thrill but you couldn't care less about what's happening to those involved. You might show sympathy or empathy but deep down, you are really just in for the entertainment and you might find it really nice to spread around and make things even worse for those involved in a particular problem.

We both kind of felt sorry towards each other up till the point that it was difficult to face each other. Perhaps it was the guilt that laid inside us. We then avoided each other thinking we dislike seeing each other which isn't the case. She's not around because she thinks I do not want to see her;I don't see her around so I thought she disliked seeing me. Things get that much more complicated and muddling when you don't sit down and clarify all the misunderstandings as we jump to our own conclusions causing miscommunication.

It's a new year, a new semester, why let the past haunt us and bring us down once more?? We've clarified everything. Those of you who follow my blog or coincidentally stumble upon the post which I blabber about the friendships that I cannot comprehend, I want you all to know that I wrote that out of rage and frustration. I didn't weigh both sides of the story well instead I just picked up the negatives . I sincerely apologize for the lack of rationality and practicality. I'm really immature, I'm extremely aware of that so, I just cannot control my thoughts when I'm upset. All that I could think of are the bad stuffs which then, beleaguered me with negative thoughts in times of distress and at that point, I couldn't take it anymore so I just blurted all that was running through my mind so as I could end it once and for all. I didn't want to burden and worry other people by bringing up the story and they'd have to comfort me and all so, I just blog about it. My blog is my personal ranting ground and I never knew they are actually people other than my Kuching close friends reading it.

For those of you who are making a big fuss over that particular post regarding friendship, that's just the negative side of the story which I heard but seriously, all that I jotted down were what I really heard back then.I'm not adding rotten condiments into it. Be aware that those I heard were rumors, and I'm sure all of you knows how thickly fabricated rumors are. I didn't bother to filter them when I blogged about it and it's presumptuous for you guys to judge us and jump into your own conclusions. I really despise it when certain people think badly of another based on hearsay. I find that really unfair. You should get to know a person before you judge what kind of a person she or he is.

Gossiping is inevitable but gossips can be made within your own close circle of friends. There's no need to pass the message around to every complex living organism especially when you do not know how true it is.

I'm only human with many flaws and I'm slowly learning to not care of what others think of me but care only about the thoughts of those who are dear to me.

Do not always believe what you hear. There's always always always two sides to every story and it's only fair that you weigh both if you're keen to intervene or else, just stay away and don't be judgmental.

Last semester is history, lesson learned, life goes on anew, want to reconcile with what I didn't back then which includes studies,eating and spending habits. Gosh, I've taken my life so lightly last semester. Forgive me, I was new to the whole living far from home thing and I am parasitically dependent on my parents..still am..hehe...

Anyway, I've voiced out everything and all that I mentioned are truly sincerely genuinely from the bottom of my heart. This is what I feel now.

I know how I like to always think negatively and ignore those good things we've been through and that gave Blackie a couple of hard times. haha...

Blackie always say that the one mistake he made can immediately overshadow the 10 nice things he did. That's true. See, I told you we tend to recall only the bad and seldom of the good.

I wish all is ok now. Could bygones really be bygones??

Youth '09 .......

The Youth '09 thing ended yesterday. Maddie and I went on Saturday to just check it out since we were left with nothing better to do. It was a day of fun and humor. Both us Sarawakians aren't exactly familiar with the whereabouts in KL so we both had our fair share of asking around. haha.. We then acted like tourists. haha...

That guy's so creative! That's half of his work. The other side was nicer.

First, we boarded the public bus to the KTM station. Bought our tickets and wait for the train to Putra Station. A train came and it's towards Rawang. We got in but after a few seconds, Madonna, Little Miss Confident said we boarded the wrong train because it's to Rawang so she said "let's get off quick." Since she was so confident, I blindly got off the train only to realize that it was the RIGHT train. hahaha....Laughters on us. The reason why she thought it was the wrong train was because the door of the train is different from other trains she boarded before. -_-" haha

After an hour + , we arrived at Putra KTM Station but hehe... we didn't know how to go to PWTC so we had to ask around for a bit. Funniest was when we asked the security guard standing outside "The Mall" where PWTC is when it's actually just opposite that mall. haha.... tourist what, right? haha...

The Youth thing was errrm alright, I guess. Nothing much though. We didn't really explore too anyway since we were actually only there for the Youth Designer Festival to shop.

We got sprayed tattoos. Maddie is all about tribal and I adore hearts but that's the only heart stencil they had so..... yea... p/s: My stand would still be against permanent tattoos. Take no umbrage tattoos lovers. =)

Both of us bought horny clips. Horny as in devilish horns not orgasmic horny. haha

I bought 2 ballerina charms but I've no idea why. Guess I still get easily attracted to ballet related adornments.

We then perambulated around "The Mall" (that's the name of the shopping mall) but there wasn't anything nice at all so we headed to KLCC.

I like cute tumblers and it has fancy straw. Extra points. I didn't buy it though. If I tell Blackie, I'm sure he'll say I'm stupid. haha

Basically, just walked a bit but didn't really focused on shopping for Chinese New Year but I really like all those big brand shops. I really want to earn lots of money next time and marry a successful man then splurge on those brands. hehe.... *fantasizing* As for now, I can only covet those who can afford those stuffs. hehe...

My attempt to act like a tourist but I got shy, thus, ugly angle and whatnots.
I love big brands but let me stress again, I'm very well aware that they are out of my league at the moment ok. The main reason to why I like Chanel is because Blackie got me a Chanel perfume. hehe... I'd love anything he gives me. =)

Didn't shop much but somehow, money depletes fast. Perhaps of the transportation costs. I like KL but I definitely do not want to live here. Life's so hectic.

It was a really fun but exhausting day.So many funny and weird stuff that Maddie did but of course, I can't pour it out here else I won't see tomorrow. She'll turn me into a shrunken head using the authentic headhunter style. haha....Recently,she had built a peculiar interest towards shrunken heads. A tad freaky. eeyyerr...

The Arrival

It's already 2009. Time passes too fast and I'm scared of lots of stuff which I'm lazy to elaborate now. You'll stumble upon my ramblings in time to come.

As usual, we had a little New Year's Eve feast at grandma's.

I love my little cousin. He was adorably spotted sitting at the corner so bro and sis went to accompany him. *loves*

He was see-sawing

To welcome the new year,I met up with friends in Spring and Aixora's boyfriend,Kelvin drove us to Soho and we had our countdown there. It's only my 2nd time clubbing and I'm certainly not a fan. Once a year is enough for me. I feel uncomfortable squeezing amongst sweaty and drunken strangers. I don't know how to drink; let alone club. I should have joined my brother at Ipanema. He had a table. I'd very much prefer to sit and talk the night away.

I squeeze you squeeze moment... errkk...

We met Terrence

Blackie was at his friend's function of which I refused to join but I was expecting him to come to where I was before 12am but he didn't make it in time. He came slightly past 12. Anyway, am still glad to see him.

Aixora, Isabel, me at the coffee shop opposite Soho
We met Yi Ping there

Aixora and Kelvin wanted to go to The Core or something like that so we went but I just stood outside, far away from the crowd with Isabel and Blackie, and we just talked until my brother came to pick me up.Before that, we went to check out Crown Square.

Aixora,Amanda, and Kelvin

Saw Kenny at Crown Square

Clubbing is merely just an experience but my stand from last year till now is still, I do not like it. I think it's only fun to those who likes to dance and drink drink drink which I will gladly step away from. I think there's not much of a point to binge into those stuff and end up being like a routine craving for nights of debaucheries. Gross. But occasionally, I don't mind. Just my point of view for myself. =)

It was my first time drinking beer and it tasted horrible. yucky yucky.. My brother's so sweet. He was worried about me. He text me asking me to call him or anyone he knows should anything happen. And slightly past 12am, he called and came to check on me. Me love you, Iannie fattie!

Anyway,I wish all you guys the best this new year and may God shine his blessings upon all of us!